morning thought

is it wrong to do a head count at a funeral and wonder if yours can top that?

shadows

I don't always come to the right conclusion, or connect the right dots, because it's hard for me to get away from the shadow of my own experiences and prejudices.

When I was twenty on a trip to Vietnam, my brother Nhan stuck a package of postcards of Ho Chi Minh in my bag. When I emptied the contents of my bag onto the table, my father saw the cards and went crazy.

"I fought against this bastard, and you go and buy pictures of him?"

My father looked at me long and hard then stormed out the room. Dumbfounded, I stood there because I've never seen my father go off like that before (well except for the one time two months ago, but in his defense my mother had it coming---that woman knows how to needle. My father is like a bag of Orville popcorn in the a very slow cooking microwave. My mother has been cooking him painfully for 40 plus years and you know what happens when one kernel gets going. POP POP POP POP. Saw the whole thing. It was awesome!)

Anyhow, my ball-less brother, the owner of the postcards, said nothing. Saw the steam train coming and just let me get run over.

For the past sixteen years, when I think about this story three things jumps out at me...

1. How mad my father got.

2. How easily i brushed it off. the war is over, get over it kind of mentality.

3. What a balls-less brother I have!

So translation, my father was wrong for yelling at me for something that's not my fault...those were my shadows and it followed me until recently.

Anyhow, the other day a customer of mine told me how my father had talked to her about the war.

NOTE: my mother talks to me nonstop about things, but my father doesn't really mention much about anything.

She said he told her about a conversation he overheard between two boys. A conversation that he said had haunted him the day he witnessed it.

He was a soldiers fighting against Ho Chi Minh's forces. And like other soldiers, he was stationed in a village, living among the villagers. The soldiers take turns patrolling the area outside the village, then come home to rest. My father overheard a little boy asking a friend, "my father came home today, did yours?"

That is my father's shadow. The Orville bag has been cooking for a while on the Ho Chi Minh thing. I don't want to be the flame that ignites it anymore. My shadow is going take a backseat to my father's on this one.

got this one

Theres an old couple who wrote everything down to help them remember. One day as they were watching tv, the old lady asked the guy,

"Honey, would you get me some ice cream?"

The old man replied, "sure" and got up to get the ice cream.

"You better write it down," the old lady reminded him.

"I got this one," he replied.

As the old man started towards the kitchen, the lady shouted, "would you put some of that chocolate sauce that i like?"

"Sure," the old man said.

"You better write it down," the old lady told him.

"I got his one," he assured her.

When he made it to the kitchen, the old lady made one last request.

"Would you put some of the whip cream that i like."

"Sure," the old man said.

"You better write it down," she suggested.

"I got this one," he told her.

Fifteen minutes later, the old man placed a plate with two strips of bacon, and two eggs in front of his wife. She looked at him and quipped, 'i told you to write it down, you forgot my toast!"

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I received my first "fan mail" from a Ms Renee yesterday. Hope you like the joke, and keep your expectations low.

morning thought

What would suck more?

1. To get on jeopardy and not make the final round because you can't seem to get out of negative territory?

or

2. Go back to work after the show airs to find out that google has taken over your role as the go to person for answers to the crossword?

morning thought

Does anyone else find themselves policing the express lane at the grocery store, making a mental count of the number of items the people in front of you have, seething when someone is an item over, making up rules to a very loosed interpretation of the word "items" (such as different flavors yogurt counts as 1 item, but an apple and a banana count as two items--and finding yourself stuck as to how to calculate a twixt and snicker bar)?

morning thought

Is "regular" a size at other coffee shops because 8 out of 10 people when asked what size they want will respond with "regular" at my place, and that does nothing to clarify things for me.

redeeming points

The first thing my father said today when I got to work was,

"I'm going to start taking $20 a day from you for Tet (Vietnamese New Year)."

For the past couple of years, my father has been sending his friend in Vietnam $500 dollars for the Vietnamese New Year with instructions to give it away to people who need it. So my father's friend, goes out into the streets and randomly hands out $20 bills (people in that part of Vietnam make about 50 cents a day).

There is a belief in many Asian cultures that how you begin the New Year is an indication of how the rest of your year will go. My father hopes the money will allow them to buy some new clothes and have a good feast, and hopefully the rest of their year will be plentiful and if not, then at least they will have a great week.

When my father started doing this, he said to me,

"Han, this will score you points with heaven." (I prefer scoring earthly stuff at the mall)

For the past couple of New Years, I've started the year twenty dollars shorter. Just hoping my dad is right about the whole heaven thing, cause I just bought a boat and I'd like to redeem my points for a nautical GPS system.